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Exhausted by nearly a decade of online dating, I decided it was time. Compulsively scrolling through profiles became my way of reassuring myself that I was putting myself out there, without ever having to leave my apartment.

But I knew it wasn't doing me any favors. Right after I deleted the apps, I would how to find cute guys online myself reaching for my phone, only to realize the apps were gone—and I felt the void.

Nature abhors a vacuum, and to fill the space that Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge had left behind I knew I was going to have to talk to men. In real life. I would first begin by talking to strangers. Given my introverted nature, this was daunting, but I took one step at a time.

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I began by making eye contact with people on the street or in the grocery line and chatted with anyone who was paid to be nice to me: This gave me momentum as I moved on to other captive audiences—fellow passengers on planes or the girl behind me at the water fountain at the gym.

The more I smiled, asked questions, and listened to the answers, how to find cute guys online more I learned. I learned that my barista was a former college professor who had given up teaching to sell lattes.

A fellow Lyft rider had a degree in actuarial science but worked as an options trader for a large produce company. He found his job fascinating and so did I.

The more comfortable I became talking to everyone, the more confidence I gained talking to men.

I began living openly, boldly, and unapologetically. But this isn't a bad thing. Not having met him in person, I had little way of knowing if we'd mesh.

So, my dating life has lower volume, but far higher quality. But it's not just dute dating. Talking to strangers, in general, is exhilarating.

When people smile back, tell a story, talk about their day, the energy is infectious, and while it may take intentional effort, the payback is huge. I used to be very result-oriented and perceived men in real life the way I viewed them on apps.

Was he tall, attractive, charismatic?

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Get a date. Now, I talk to.

Quitting dating apps allowed me to see clearly the seductive, reductive, dating paradigm that held me captive. For me, at how to find cute guys online, the apps were not limitless but limiting.

Hiding behind my screen allowed me to hide in real life, and the fine swiping had eroded my social skills, my sense of self, and my awareness of those around me. In glossy dating apps, men metamorphosed into a blur of staged photos and carefully worded bios, easily disposed of with a flick of my thumb.


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how to find cute guys online Committing to meeting men in real life has given me finf freedom to open up, reach out, and let go of the checklist I clung to for so long.

After all, my next date could be beside me on the train, in front of me ordering his latte, or holding the door for me at the gym. There is an incredible freedom in living a life committed to true, organic, human connection.

Like working out or eating healthy, it also just feels good. But I have no plans to stop as long as it continues to be joyful and affirming. Are you considering ditching your apps, too?

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Maybe you've already taken the plunge? I'd love to hear how it's going or answer your questions!

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Home Relationships. It killed me at first, but dating has never been better.

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This past June, I deleted my dating apps. To gain confidence, I started really small.

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My dating life transformed. Better yet, I have improved. I'm loving real life even. By Taylor Davies. By Kara Eschbach.

By Sarah Dawson.